Surfing

A little boy is learning to surf, and when he and the father get to the beach, once again, the waves are windy and sloppy. The boy asks, “Daddy, what makes the wind blow?”
Father says, “It’s caused when daddy puts on his wetsuit”.

Did you hear about the guy who was new to Huntington Beach? He got pulled over because his tide chart was expired.

Q: How do you get a surfer to school on time?
A: Tell him the waves are crappy.

Q: What’s a surfers favorite piece of clothing?
A: Tube socks.

Surfing is one of the few sports where you can pee whenever you want. That’s why they call them ‘wetsuits’.

A surfer is watching the waves with his wife, and he can’t help but to talk about the waves the same way he talks about women:
“Wooo! I’d like to ride THAT one.” Just then his wife pipes in, “Ahhh, you’d just blow it on the takeoff anyway”.

How can you spot a surfer at a wedding? He’s the one that’s not there.

The Farallon Island shark rumors are greatly exaggerated; The surfer population there numbers four and a half.

Q: What’s the difference between a surfer and a large pizza?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of five.

Q: Why did the surfer invest in oil?
A: He heard he could get a barrel for ninety-eight bucks.

Three old surfers are standing on the beach. The first one says, “Jeez, surfing at my age is getting more and more like sex”.
The second one says, “You mean you hardly do it anymore?”
The third one says, “No, he wishes he had a bigger board”.

– Jaz Kaner

The Stingray Shuffle

Confession: I may be the only surf instructor in Huntington who hasn’t been hit by a stingray. I’ll credit this to two things: • My good habit of ‘shuffle and stomp’ to let them know I’m coming, • Limiting the area that I/we are occupying, • and my vulcan atomic force-field :). For surf instructors, […]

More Surfer Jokes

A little boy is learning to surf, and when he and the father get to the beach, once again, the waves are windy and sloppy. The boy asks, “Daddy, what makes the wind blow?” Father says, “It’s caused when daddy puts on his wetsuit”. Did you hear about the guy who was new to Huntington […]

Buttons Remembered

One of my oldest friends passed away today. Buttons Montgomery Kaluhiokalani lost his fight with cancer. He was 54. Buttons had a list of surf contest credits, but those become incidental when compared to the playful exuberance that led him to become one of the most inventive and influential surf legends ever. Many people know […]

What about Sharks?

If you’re worried about a shark attack in Orange County, you might as well start buying lotto tickets; You’ll have better odds. Yet I still get calls, questions, and even customers cancelling their surf lessons because of fears about sharks. On top of that, at Banzai our surf lessons usually take place on a sand […]

US Open of Surfing Survival Guide

  Every year Huntington Beach California hosts the biggest surf contest in the world, and the word ‘big’ doesn’t apply to the wave size – it’s about the crowd size. (Banzai Surf IS open for business and well outside the circus; We’re 3 miles south). Here’re the best tips we’ve found for making your way […]

The Sand

The Sand Once, I filled my car with sand. OK, “filled” is an exaggeration – it was ankle deep. Looking back, I must have really been missing the beach. Surfers don’t love sand as much as you’d think. Sand is that annoying stuff in between the car and the waves. It messes up our wax […]

How to pick a Surfing Wetsuit

In California, getting your first wetsuit is more important than getting your first board. Your first surfboard will likely be big (or it SHOULD be) and difficult to tote around; Might as well rent or borrow. But it’s nice to have your own wetsuit. The key is to choose a wetsuit with glued seams, not […]

What to Bring to a Surf Lesson

What to Bring to a Surf Lesson This should answer one of our most common questions here at Banzai: What should we bring? Here’s the quick list: • Beach pack to keep stuff in • Towel • Sunscreen • Water • Contact lenses or a good leash for your glasses • For diabetics: Bring a […]

Advanced Surfing: How To Do A Perfect Takeoff

  The takeoff will always be the hardest part of wave riding. Here, I’ll talk about the more advanced skill of catching an unbroken wave. Let’s be honest; No respectable surfer wants to ride the whitewater. There’s just no speed there. Even dolphins won’t ride the soup, and they’re the best surfers on earth. That […]