Here’s some of the Banzai crew (or at least those who’d let me have my way with their stories : ) – Jaz K.
BRYCE – Instructor
Bryce has been with Banzai Surf since day one. We plan to erect a statue of him in the parking lot. He has degrees in Anthropology and Marketing, so not only can he FIND bones, he knows how to SELL them. For the past ten years he’s also coached a high school surf team (yes, they do that in SoCal). When Bryce isn’t surfing, camping, or skateboarding, he’s working on his ’63 Ford Falcon. If Bryce is late for your lesson, blame that damn Falcon.
NERISSA – Instructor
Nerissa is a woman of the world, … the third world, because that’s where the best waves are. She’s a certified yoga instructor, world traveler, and Zen Master. Nerissa can bend steel with her eyes. There’s a tribe in Peru that celebrates her birthday.
BRYAN – Instructor
Bryan is another of our senior instructors, and our resident rock star and music guru. He came to us from the east coast many years ago riding a white camel. He currently plays guitar with the Scotty Mac Band, whose hits include “Messin Around”, “Trainwreck”, and “Woman I Flushed You Outta My Heart” (I made that one up). Very patient and methodical, Bryan loves it when you ace the written exam.
TOREY – Instructor
Torey, or ’Tor-ranisaurus’, or
‘the Tor-minator’ is a talented surfer, and pretty funny after a couple drinks too. She once had a Volvo that caught on fire, but – to hear HER tell it – the worst part was that her board melted. Torey was one of our original instructors at Banzai; How she has survived is a mystery.
PHIL – Instructor
‘Professor’ Phil invented surfing. He speaks fluent spanish, but with a Yiddish accent. Phil is a weather nut; He’d love to tell about the altocumulus lenticularis, and then follow that with a bad pun. He can totally make you a custom surfboard, but it has to be prune shaped. Phil thinks it’d be fun to surf on the Great Lakes. He can control slot machines with his mind. Phil is now 50-something and he still surfs like a wind-up monkey.
KAI – Instructor
Kai is a professional drummer, so don’t use any big words. He exemplifies the laid back California dude, or maybe his bandleader counted him off wrong at birth. He’s got a degree in American Studies; That’s why we hired him. Hey, you know how many drummers it takes to change a lightbulb? Oh never mind; We’ve got a machine to do that.
TIM – Photographer
Tim is the best photographer we’ve ever had. Tim is so quiet you can hear the auto-focus in his eyeballs. We think he’s a plankton feeder. Tim is dedicated to the art of surfing and the surfing in his art.
COLLEEN – Instructor
Colleen is the strong silent type. She’s been a fixture with our summer camp program ever since Taylor Swift’s ‘Red’ album. She keeps her surfing skills sharp by beating up grunion. Colleen’s step-dad is Dave the Wave; I think I’ve embarrassed her enough now.
PETER – Instructor
When we opened, Peter came with the park. It was a package deal, and the park had to find another “broom technician”. Their loss. Peter is young and dashing and sometimes says things that are beyond his pay grade. Peter’s photographer is that same guy who took the picture of Bigfoot.
KYLE – Instructor
Kyle is our youngest instructor, and one of the best surfers in our stable (The rest are horses). He’s been a welcome asset here, and his mom is happy to have him out of the house. We predict that he will be president some day, though most will tell you he’s not that foolish. Kyle can tell you anything you’d like to know about ‘TeleTubbies’.
Jaz – (Yes, the name “Jaz” is stupid, but he’s luckier than his sister ‘Polka’) is the owner of Banzai and the one who wrote all this stuff. Be careful what you share with him.